Smoldering Milk

Sometimes weird things happen. I set the milk on fire today. Didn’t mean to, but I did. I’d been to the market, hauled the groceries inside like usual, dumped them all over the counter and stovetop like I’ve done for the last five years, and somehow clicked on the burner. Then I wandered off, distracted until I heard odd sounds.

Crackling noises.

Not quite what it sounds like when a mouse gets inside a bag of chips, but close. Since we live in the country I thought a mouse was entirely possible although it would take a pretty ballsy in-your-face kind of rodent to strut across the counter and dive into the Cheetos while I’m wandering around the downstairs.

I went to investigate and discovered the 2 gallons of milk I’d recently purchased were on fire.


Actually, for clarification, it was the cardboard carton that contained the two jugs of cow juice that was smoldering, sparking and issuing a remarkable stanky smoke. Lovely. So I put out the fire, rescued the milk, tucked away the rest of the groceries, and have tried to air out the house.

What have you set afire lately?

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