Life Gave Me Lemons…I Want Change

I’m not as frivilous as when younger. That happens as you mature, or so older folks tell me. I think it stems more from weariness, but okay.

One practice I attempt to abstain from: wallowing in the stress that life sometimes offers. This means avoiding negativity in the form of attitudes, values, perspectives, conversations, and people. In recent years that’s been more challenging for the myriad of reasons facing all people today (think economy, oversaturation of media, too much available information).

Blogging is an enjoyable activity for me…it’s somewhat anonymous and provides an open platform where I can chatter about whatever catches my fancy.

I deal with a smattering of controversy in my professional life – I choose not to do that here.

Eventually the two worlds will collide, it’s inevitable I suppose, and major life changes will result. That’s not dramatic. Many people negotiate the delicate balance between personal lives, careers, family and creative pursuits. I compartmentalize because that makes it easier to manage the disparate pieces of my existence.

There is a mental image of a filing cabinet in my head. Each bank of drawers stores the important data that apply to specific parts of my life. Problem is….I’m ready to shut and lock some of the doors. In order to do that I need to make those major changes. Life-altering, career-ending changes…okay, maybe career-shifting changes.

Either way the end of an era is coming. Soon.

I’m not sure I’m ready but guess what? Life doesn’t care – here comes the change anyways. Sort of like pregnancy.

I’ve met a lot of joyful people as a result of blogging, and a few jerks. That’s okay, the online environment is easier for dealing with lunatics than the physical world.

During a recent foray into the blogging world, I stumbled across a site displaying a protracted comparison of two successful book series (by different authors). Reading through the lengthy discussion, I became puzzled by the amount of vitriol spilled on the page. Wow. The writer and the commenters argued about subjects only the authors of the material knew the truth about.

Seemed kind of meaningless.

Tempest in a tea-cup and all that – but why argue about what an author meant when said author has already stated their words in a public venue like their VERY public personal authorized and validated website.

Is that my age?
I’ve read books I’ve enjoyed and ones I haven’t, but I don’t understand the continued diatribe against published works that you don’t like. Stop reading them. Likewise, why continue to argue a different meaning behind an author’s intent when they’ve publicly stated their opinion and position.

That site goes on my list of places too negative to visit. I have a limited amount of time and energy, and I don’t choose to spend it in such company. Diametrically opposing points of view are just different perspectives.

How do you separate the wheat from the chaff and sort the uplifters from the drainers? Do you avoid timesucks and energy vampires? Am I just old and cranky?

Tags: midlife crisis, career change, literary arguments, negative stress, blog fighting

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  1. #1 by joeh on November 18, 2011 - 4:06 pm

    HAY!!! Old and Cranky is my bit!Maybe you are just to smart to waste time arguing with idiots!THe Cranky Old Man

  2. #2 by Annalise Green on November 18, 2011 - 6:58 pm

    I've definitely deleted people from my blogroll when they get too negative. I have noticed that people confuse "taste" for "rules". There are a lot of books that aren't to my taste, but very, very rarely would I call them objectively horrible books. Life's short – why waste it being aggressive and negative?

  3. #3 by Marion Spicher on November 19, 2011 - 5:51 am

    I just stay low and keep moving, Grin.Moment by moment. You are on the cusp of change, and I'm rooting for you! Do I have negative people in my life? Sometimes, but I keep them because I hope to watch them grow past it. But if too much time goes by, then I move on.

  4. #4 by Alica McKenna Johnson on November 19, 2011 - 5:19 pm

    I try very hard not to wallow in the stress of life, but unfortunately I have a brain which seems to enjoy the crazy *rolls eyes* One of the things I do is ask myself what one thing can I do today. Sometimes this helps.

  5. #5 by MISH on November 19, 2011 - 6:16 pm

    Very interesting points.I think it's simple… if you don't like certain books/writers, don't read them. If people are negative, avoid them, they will drain your spirit. And remember you will always get those mean, nasty types who carry the weight of the world on their shoulders…sometimes you can't avoid them; on the other hand, you cannot save the world. Give them a chance, and then move on!

  6. #6 by Tameri Etherton on November 19, 2011 - 11:53 pm

    I read this post yesterday as I was rushing in a cab from one place to the next and it stuck with me (as many of your posts often do). In fact, it inspired a blog post of my own and I'm going to reference back to this.I try to be as positive as I can in every aspect of life ~ I find it makes it easier to deal with cranky people and life's general messiness. Sometimes, though, I just want to spew and vent. When that happens, I grab a journal because really, who wants to hear my vitriol? Yeah, my husband will listen, but it isn't fun for him.I'm learning how to avoid timesuckers and energy vampires. It's hard, but necessary. I like what Marion said, though. She keeps some of them around to watch them grow out of it.

  7. #7 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:48 pm

    Hey Joeh – I just don't want to crowd in on your bit! You do it so well! Besides, every time I get in an argument with some twit, I end up being the idiot. lol

  8. #8 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:49 pm

    Annalise, I think you're right. I've read books that I've not really enjoyed but really liked a character or premise. Almost any story has something appreciable in it, but if I don't care for the story…I just don't read it anymore.Same thing with movies. Don't even get me started on Tron.

  9. #9 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:51 pm

    Marion – you bring up a great point. We all have negative people that are part of our families or close network. I have them too. Some of them I keep cause giving them up isn't an option, but the growth curve is sometimes hard.Now that I consider that, I bet there are members of my family rolling their eyes and muttering about black pots. lol

  10. #10 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:52 pm

    Alica, as always, you have a practical approach that is healthy. Wallowing is good on occasion, an indulgence, but eventually I find myself crawling out of the quagmire. I'll try your recommendation. Thanks!

  11. #11 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:53 pm

    MISH – I like your approach! And it is good to give people a chance. Of course since I'm a homing beacon for the fringe element of society, this may open up opportunities for interaction…Good book fodder, I suppose…

  12. #12 by Lesann Berry on November 20, 2011 - 7:56 pm

    I laughed when I read your comment, Tameri. A good friend and I get together every few months for sushi and a "bitch" session. We vent about all the events and people who've frustrated us over the previous months. It's very cathartic and pretty much meaningless to the other one because we only share a handful of acquaintances.Being positive is one of those affirmations I try to follow, but sometimes I just want to take a stick and whack people over the head. lolI don't do that. Really.I can't wait to read your post. My whining inspired someone! Woot! Woot!

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